Sadomasochism: Pleasure in Torture

Sadomasochism is practically everywhere around us! People are frustrated by the war and by all the ugly things that happen to them every day, so it's no surprise that there is a tendency towards BDSM equally among men and women. The number of BDSM enthusiasts and intense sexual games has become most pronounced after the end of the war in our regions. Ordinary, romantic things, like candlelit dinners and classic courtship leave people cold, while insults, beatings, and various kinds of bizarre activities elevate their incredible sexual desire.

Among the countries where various forms of sadomasochism are widely practiced, Great Britain leads the way. The reasons, according to sexologists, lie in the traditionally strict upbringing in Britain, which has largely been based on corporal punishment. It wasn't long ago that physical punishment and the prohibition of any heterosexual relations were everyday occurrences at English colleges like Oxford, Cambridge, or Elton, leading to a spontaneous enjoyment of corporal punishment and transvestism. Local ministers, financiers, and many dignitaries have been "caught" in public in compromising situations involving sadomasochistic disciplines, as well as in episodes of flagrant transvestism, indulging their sexual urges.
In Protestant countries, which are more liberal in every respect, including in practicing love, freer sex with tendencies towards orgies and partner swapping is common, so the phenomenon of pleasure in pain or inflicting it on sexual partners is not very present, although there are enthusiasts of that kind of love in those countries as well.

In Catholic countries and environments, due to stricter upbringing and repression of feelings, tendencies closer to psychopathic behaviors have developed.
In countries like Japan, BDSM is also extremely prevalent. Traditional upbringing of submission is one of the main causes of the large number of devotees of deviant sexuality.
There is no doubt that BDSM is practiced much more frequently among high officials and powerful tycoons than among workers. Perhaps, if we judge by the saying - When you give many orders during the day, at night you need someone to give you orders.

OUR THING
According to the insights we gained by talking to a few owners of sex shops in Zagreb, the last few years have seen an increased interest in equipment and items used in so-called rough sex. The interlocutors note that such items sell best in Dalmatia and partially in the Kvarner area, while in Istria, interest in BDSM equipment is much lower. This, they say, is understandable due to the proximity of the Italian border, where lovers of the bizarre can find everything they want in Trieste, for example. Those with more refined tastes often head to Milan. The situation is similar in Zagreb. For years, in all Zagreb stores selling love supplies, apart from a few types of artificial penises and a couple of videotapes, nothing for practicing different sex could be obtained. People traveled to Austria and found not only friendly service from sellers but also various types of equipment. Even in the smallest Alpine village, there is a well-stocked store for sex supplies, which cannot be said for a million-strong Zagreb.

ROUGH SEX
A few months ago, another sex shop opened in the metropolis, advertising itself as a rich store of BDSM items. The first impression is good, considering the audacity of someone even thinking to offer something different. But the selection of equipment for practicing BDSM is more than meager.
When asked what is most in demand, without alluding or suggesting anything, the friendly seller replies:

- Everything related to sadomasochism! Immediately after that, gay items. The rest of the offer is sought far less. Based on personal insights, I can say that compared to the classic range of products, three to four times more of those items that have not been common in erotic shops so far are sought. Classic, classic sex seems to be worn out and exhausted!

What is the most unusual item that is sought?

- A device for stretching nipples! These are weights that have different weights, reaching up to one kilogram. All other means that can bind some part of the body and then can be stretched and tightened are also sought. For example, with the help of specially made clamps, the vagina can be hooked to the breasts, which evidently creates strong pain.

Do people come to you with specific wishes or do they see certain things and then buy them?

- Those who come here have their desires. They are most interested in video material. There is a demand for domination, mostly of women over men. There is considerable interest in leather men's underwear, especially those with metal and chains. Various devices that weigh down the testicles and create some kind of torture, pain, and suffering are also sought. People know very well what they are looking for and really come with a specific goal, mostly for items related to BDSM. They seek aids, whips of various shapes and variations, and particularly interesting are whips made of latex. But other items that cause pain during sexual intercourse also sell very well.

Are you surprised that there is a high demand for aids for home bizarre games?

- No! BDSM is practically everywhere around us! People are frustrated by the war and by all the ugly things that happen to them every day, so it's no surprise that there is a tendency towards BDSM equally among men and women.

WISH LIST
According to statistics, in our country, those inclined to practice BDSM are mostly married men aged 25 to 55. It is interesting to note that they enjoy it whether they live in the city or in the countryside.

Out of 63 respondents, only eight rejected any thought on the subject, while the others had at least one contact with BDSM games in their previous love activities, and of various kinds. Six of them are enthusiasts of golden showers and enjoy when a woman urinates on them. A bit more, nine, enjoy being tied up in any way, while two particularly enjoy restricting the movements of girls and women, and their imagination is particularly stimulated by the act of tying up as well as observing. Two respondents enjoy spanking, while four like to practice spanking on another person.

To be restrained, dominated over, and especially treated in the strictest possible way during the game is liked by 25 respondents. Seventeen of them enjoy dominating over girls. Fetishism, as a faithful companion of BDSM games, is favored by almost everyone. The palette is more or less known and ranges from the most harmless things made of leather as a lighter variant of BDSM enthusiasts, while most are inclined to use various rubber fetishes, which are known for very intense, knowledgeable sadomasochistic games.

According to these indicators, contrary to the prevailing opinion in society, they claim that erotic games are extremely present in our regions. However, there is also a significant problem. All respondents note that it is difficult for them to establish contact with women and girls who, like them, lean towards that kind of love. Besides the fact that they can hardly obtain equipment and aids here, they also use the most incredible improvisations, and a large part of their energy is spent on finding partners who would engage in this with them. Practicing love in a truly strange way is made more difficult by the fact that, unlike other European countries, there are no clubs where like-minded people could gather. They see the reason in our traditionally closed mindset and circumstances, such as the lack of entrepreneurs' willingness to open a club for lovers of BDSM and fetishes.

HOME WORK
- When my wife goes to bed, I wait for her to fall asleep and then sneak into the room where I keep my own equipment. I dress from head to toe in rubber, which, by the way, is my fetish, and in that state, I bend down and fantasize about girls who would do the same with me. After a few hours, I take it off and return to the room. I tried to talk to my wife about this topic, but she cut it off at the root with the words that it disgusts her. These are the words of a thirty-five-year-old man from Zagreb.

A similar problem is faced by a somewhat younger respondent who says that in moments of solitude, he puts on black latex pants, sits on rubber, and picks up the phone. He dials a few numbers and, with the help of the person on the other end of the line, achieves satisfaction. If it weren't for various speaking devices and those expensive lines, he would find it hard to endure. In his life, he has only once managed to be with a girl in a BDSM combination.

A forty-year-old man enjoys BDSM because it is different and interesting in itself, and thus more exciting. He also enjoys when he and his wife are dressed from head to toe in tight latex suits, of which he says he has plenty, and they take turns treating each other. They play almost all night if circumstances allow. They are not particularly aware if there are people in our country who also enjoy these things.

Others tell similar stories. They enjoy tying, being tied, observing and being observed, being whipped and whipping, being rough and vulgar. They came to the realization that they are interested in both BDSM and the fetishes that inevitably accompany it through experimentation, watching video titles, and most of them came into contact with these things abroad. However, many felt sexual excitement from punishment in early youth, both at home and at school or at work. They rarely talk about it, of course.

The very appearance of video recorders and technical innovations like the internet, along with our traditional connection to the outside world, has expanded their boundaries in realizing that there are other people with similar tendencies. In our country, of course, there is no talk about bedroom battles.

WITH BIZARRE TO DESIRE
In conversations with well-known Croatian psychiatrists, we learn that this problem is indeed present among us. They confirm, in informal conversations, that the number of BDSM enthusiasts and intense sexual games has become most pronounced after the end of the war in our regions. They say that ordinary, romantic things, like candlelit dinners, leave people cold. Insults, beatings, and various kinds of bizarre activities elevate their incredible desire.

Today, it is no longer surprising that a husband suddenly attacks his wife and beats her, and while she is in tears and helplessly enduring the blows, he becomes sexually excited, and after this violent physical conflict, he is ready for sex. Here, psychiatrists agree, it is a disorder, but they do not want to disclose details in public as the prevailing opinion is that our society is not yet ready for such things.

However, no one has really dealt with the impact of PTSD on human sexuality, but the fact is that many simply cannot get aroused by classic sex and courtship. When asked if other countries are facing the problem of increasing sexual disorders, it is known that this problem in Europe after World War II was resolved through democratic methods. Clubs were opened, as well as through employment and new jobs. In our country, they say it is better not to talk about BDSM. And this is due to political principles. This, of course, harms as every suppression of topics under the rug breeds opposite effects. Doctors thus informally observe a significant problem, but do not want to speak publicly. So when some old discarded tire or leather coat causes, and the rope begins to sweat in someone's hands, you can know exactly what time it is.