Wife in the Embrace of Another Man

Dear Veronika,
I would like you to give your comment on something that is rarely written about. I will describe my own experience, that is, an event I went through, which has gradually become an important part of my sexual imagination, partly real and partly in my mind.

In short, I am in a solid marriage, and I get along well with my wife in sex. However, as often happens, I accidentally discovered an intimate "relationship" she once had. One evening when she was with her lover, by chance, I caught them in Opatija where they ended up in a hotel room at the end of the evening. I literally stood in front of their room door and listened to the sighs of passion, and in the confusion of emotions that overwhelmed me, a new moment appeared, a struggle between the feelings of a hurt husband and strong sexual excitement because my wife was having sex with another person.

That feeling of excitement prevailed, and to cut a long story short, after some turmoil, we remained married, but in my fantasies and thoughts, a third person often appears who would join our intimate games in various combinations.

Reading your ads in which married partners seek a third person for company in their own bed, one can see how widespread such desires are. The fundamental question is whether it is normal for a husband to be aroused by watching or imagining his own wife in the embrace of another man, and whether that feeling further intensifies his desire for her?!
This feeling ignites in me the desire to have a woman who is permanently sexually excited, wet from sex, that is, to have her right after another man.

Robert

Dear Robert,

Your question about a man's attitude towards his wife's infidelity should certainly be considered primarily from the standpoint of your sexual excitement that is caused by it. In the face of that fact, the moral and any other aspect of that problem loses significance, if it can even be called a problem at all.

In a healthy marriage, and given the fact that it has survived, it is indeed such, spouses can agree, even mathematically, on how to proceed. If your wife finds extramarital sexual activity convenient and knows that you are aware of it, and if such a state of affairs sexually excites you and raises your libido, I see no obstacles for you to collaboratively write or arrange scenarios for events in which and after which you will both enjoy together.

It might be good to establish a balance of guilt with at least one of your formal infidelities after which you could, much less restrained than before, indulge in pleasures. In any case, I wish you to reach complete consensus with your wife regarding your shared future. May it bring you happiness.